Connecting with Hubby

This past weekend we attended a marriage retreat put on by Focus on the Family. It was held in Denver, Colorado and then broadcasted nation wide. Thought I'd share some of what I learned or was refreshed on:

*Marriage is so much more about God than us. He designed it to be a reflection of His relationship with us. Our marriages are the ultimate example of Christ to the world.

*"secure your undivided devotion to the Lord." If we are doing this, our marriages will automatically be great.

*focus on becoming the right person yourself instead of changing your spouse.

*love is fluid - it changes over time and that's okay. There are seasons to love. Les and Leslie Parrott described love using a triangle diagram - on one side is passion (biological - gets love going), the next is intimacy (emotional - we're on the same page) and the bottom is commitment (willful - in spite of all the unpredictable parts of life, I am in this for good!) The commitment holds us together when passion and intimacy may die away for seasons.

* A great way to stay connected quickly is asking "How's your love life?" Each person then rates passion, intimacy and commitment on a scale from 1-10. Then discuss.

*research shows that the amount of love a couple has during the first year or two of marriage, doesn't even compare with the amount of love that a couple experiences after 40-50 years of marriage. In fact, the researchers say it's immeasurable!!!!

* Playing with your Hubby is a great way to find true intimacy.

* Look for something to make you and your spouse laugh - every day :)

*Gary Chapman (author of the 5 Love Languages) spoke on the 5 Languages of Apology - very interesting
1. Expressing Regret - I'm sorry that I......
2. Accepting Responsibility - "I was wrong"
3. Making Restitution - "What can I do?"
4. Genuinely Repenting - "I don't want this to keep happening - can you help me?"
5. Requesting Forgiveness - "Can you forgive me?"

Each of us has a primary apology language and we usually apologize in the way we want our spouse to apologize to us. But....we have to recognize that to the other person, their form of apology may be just as heartfelt.

*It takes a couple 9-14 years to go from "me" to "we"!!! This is mainly because the average age for a guy to get married is 28 and a girl is 26....we've lived so much of our lives as single people.

* "A good marriage isn't something you find, it's something you make. The grass isn't greener on the other side, it's greener where you water it." Gary Thomas

* Julianna Slattery - Every guy is asking - "Am I your hero? Do you believe in me (cheerleader) and will you be there for me (teamate)?

Every woman is asking - "Can I feel safe in your love? Do you love/cherish me and am I safe with you?"

*If God is for marriages.....who can be against us?

* Kirk and Chelsea Cameron - Most important ingredient in any lasting relationships is FORGIVENESS.

*Never look down at your spouse but always look up to the cross.

*love not tested is not really love at all

Your marraige is really all about God